November 3, 2011
Just had a conversation about the struggle and frustration and pain that occurs in our close personal relationships. It never ceases to amaze me how people, who genuinely love one another, can find ways to mess up and spoil what is generally and predominantly an awesome, loving relationship. Opportunities abound for people to introduce hurt and pain into their relationships. No one is immune.
The sad thing is that though we are not immune to hurt and have experienced hurt and will experience it in the future, whenever we are in the midst of current hurt we seem to all act like rookies and forget the positive, forget how we have made it through hurt before, forget the blessing the other person is, forget what we know to be true, and forget how much we enjoy about them. We allow ourselves to get stuck in fear, we get paralyzed on what to do, and we react out of hurt, not the belief we have in one another. We make statements and promises that we can’t back up or keep up. We choose to put up fences mistakenly believing that it will protect us from being hurt again. We eventually dissolve into a hole of negative self-talk that is intended to punish ourselves for our part in the pain.
I say instead of running away, run towards. Instead of shutting down, open up. Instead of meditating on pain, meditate on hope. Instead of canceling what you enjoy together, recommit to it. Instead of speaking the truth in pain, speak the truth in love. Instead of pushing away, fully embrace. I could go on and on. It isn’t easy, I know, because I have been through many of these places of pain before, and I will again.
To end, I quote words that are greater than mine, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:7